Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Geek'd: online dating is hokum

So I'm currently attempting the trials and tribulations of the online dating world. Partially out of boredom, partially due to the fact that I work in a career that doesn't allow the luxury of going out at night very often, get a bit drunk and meet new people.

So the first thing that I learned when I got online is that I'm an utter idiot when it comes to online dating.

But I'm learning quickly.

For one thing, I learned that while it's a nice, somewhat considerate thing to send every guy that sends you a nice, well-thought out message a little message back, it's a bad idea. Guys treat responses to messages like bits of hope that maybe the girl actually is interested in him ... at the very least. And they cling to that belief until the girl shoots him down... in which he then becomes offended and sometimes nasty.

Better to hold your silence for guys that you believe may actually peak an interest in you. It saves you a lot of trouble and a lot of grief on both ends.

Also I learned that to treat a profile as if it can tell you everything you need to know is insanely retarded.

And so I take you to the story of a guy that turned out nothing like his profile. Instead he was every bit the kind of person that pisses me off the most.

So I met this guy, lets call him Jimmy (not his real name though). Now we've been talking for some time online and via text message. He seemed okay, but nothing inherently special from our conversation, but I didn't get any bad vibes off of him which was why I agreed to meet him at some point. Some people are just better to deal with in person after all.

But it was right after I agreed to meet him that he starting blowing up red flags.

For one, we were conversing on our favourite hockey teams and he happened to claim that he's a die-in-the-wool Leaf fan who happens to also cheer for the Montreal Canadiens.

For context, that's like claiming to be a Yankee AND a BoSox fan; it's just not done. You can be one or the other, but not both in this world. Otherwise, you're not a "true" anything.

So I asked him to justify being both and yet calling himself a "true Leaf fan". And either he misunderstood me or whatever but after nailing him to justify his stance he got really offended and upset over the line of questioning saying, "well I AM a die-hard Leaf fan and I'm insulted that you're saying I'm not."

I actually had to tell him to take a chill pill. First warning sign.

And then later that week, I revealed to him I have two male roommates, and his next text was "have you dated any of them??? lol"

Second warning sign.

Then after the whole "chill pill" incident he kept texting me something like every four hours asking if we're still on for our getting together thing right up until we meet.

Really I should have just ditched the guy after the second warning sign and cut my losses, but I'm a person of my word and I'm not about to leave a person hanging just because I was getting a bad feeling from text messages from him.

So we met.

Now I admit, I went into this with a rather negative opinion of him after the whole mess of text messages. By the time we said hello in person, I had in my head that he was an overly-sensitive and insecure individual. Not that I told him that, for those reasons.

And nothing he did in that meeting changed my mind about it. In fact, he continued to demonstrate his over-sensitivity to most things by taking way too much shit too personally and making excuses for just about everything.

And I felt pity for him.

And because he was an overly sensitive idiot, I couldn't bring myself to tell him anything close to the truth. That he was overly sensitive, that he took shit too seriously, that I worked in a male-dominated environment filled with men and all my best friends are guys. Shit like that.

And that also irritated me. To the point that even I knew I was becoming more and more bitchy the longer we talked. To the point that it made me feel bad for him, honest to goodness bad for him.

And I felt bad for him when I said I don't think we should see each other again, although I couldn't exactly tell him why in any honest fashion for fear of his hurt feelings, being that his attempt to hide his insecurity through terrible jokes and his takes-shit-too-personally attitude drove me utterly up the wall and brought out the absolute worst in me. The bitchy, impatient, want-to-slap-you-in-the-face-for-being-an-idiot side of me.

After it was all said and done, he showed his true colours. He sent me a nice little message, basically blaming me for how it went down. And there I realized. He was a guy that always blamed everyone else for his problems and never looks at himself as an issue in of itself.

So what'd I learn from that?

I'm more upfront with the fact that "I WORK IN A MALE-DOMINATED ENVIRONMENT" on online dating sites as a method of weeding out guys that frankly can't handle that. And for guys who seems to gloss over that fact because they see a pretty face, I've decided to be more brutally honest about my life before meeting people in person. Also, more brutally honest about whether things will work.

I'm still an idiot when it comes to online dating sites. But at least by doing that much, I can at the very least keep special guys like "Jimmy" from being that much of an issue in the future.

Still, I absolve to Sheldon Cooper's line of thinking when it comes to online dating. It really is a load of hokum.

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Geek Style: butterflies -- spring is coming

Watching some spring training Blue Jays baseball put me in a bit of a spring is coming (soon) mood today, and therefore, out comes the ultra-feminine butterfly top for work today!

I actually purchased this lovely blouse piece from Ardene (who is currently running a 3 day sale people -- Free shipping + $10 gift card for every $50 purchase) way back in November of all months for around $20 dollars.

It's a sheer chiffon (which seems to be all the rage in fashion then and now still even) -- which means you need to wear a camisole beneath -- and has three-quarter sleeves.

The fabric is also just cheap enough that you risk having to deal with some unpleasant static if your not careful (or wear it with a wool button-up on top). Also, the buttons along the top are really cheaply and loosely attached. I've already sewn one back in, and three more popped off on its second wear (and one of them became lost unfortunately)

But it is a beautiful pattern -- one that I have yet to be able to replicate -- and a really amazing combination of colour and works well with a dark grey jean or trouser. Keep the stuff with it plain, because it is a very busy pattern.

And more on Ardene -- I generally only go to that store to find accessories or cheap shoes. But I've discovered that they actually have a very solid line of apparel that isn't all catered to the tweener generation. It takes some selective picking and choosing, but their clothes sometimes are much better than some of the other offerings at Forever21 or H&M.

You just have to be careful of how cheap it sometimes can be... but then again, same goes for both of the other cheap chic boutiques I just mentioned...

This shirt actually doesn't come out as much as I'd like it too. For one, it's super-feminine meant for days when I'm in the mood for being feminine, which when you work in sports, isn't often.

But spring is in the air for me... and that was enough...

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Geek Looks: beauty works at night

One of the things I've had to actively work on and incorporate into my life over this winter is a "night-time beauty" routine.

Part of it was out of necessity of late; winter has made my skin so dry and discomforting that my skin broke out into a giant rash due to an allergy that rarely rears its ugly head.

Another part is that in order to easily fall asleep, it is best for you to have an easy and recognizable routine every night that tells your body to fall asleep.

And a really big part is that when you have to wake up early some mornings for work - and you're not a morning person - it's good to at least be able to take care of your body at some point between asleep and awake.

So this is my beauty routine... at night!

1. e.l.f. Makeup Remover Cleansing Cloths

It isn't always nor does it have to be these cleansing cloths that I use for this important step. Really, any generic brand that you can get at any drug store works just as well. Also, if the inherent wastefulness of these wipes is a concern for you, a regular bottle of make-up remover solution or just sticking to a decent scrub of your choice of facial cleanser can also substitute.

 Really this is just an expression of the ever important step of removing the day's make-up and grime from my face as a means to start fresh.

But what I do like about e.l.f. make-up remover cleansing cloths is not just how the solution so gently and easily removes all the gunk from your face, but all for an increadibly affordable $3 CDN! Good for all budgets!

Plus, with the resealable plastic top, it's very easy to bring with you when you travel and it's less likely to dry out over time.

2. Aveeno Skin Relief Moisturizing Lotion

A relatively new addition to the routine, but it really is the most important one and one of the primary reasons why I've decided to stick to a routine.

I've previously been plagued by dry, itchy skin over the winter, but this year has been downright the worst for it, to the point that I've had severe skin allergy reactions because of it. Since the enormous breakout, I've made it my business to minimize its impact on my life (and it really did, and still does, make life very uncomfortable) by making full use of this lotion.

One of the great things about this is that it is made to relieve itchy, extra dry skin and keep the skin moisturized for 24 hours. With both natural colloidal oatmeal, a proven ingredient that relieves itching, and also a cooling menthol that also helps relieves itching, it makes my nights easier to deal with.

And it's not that expensive. This can be found at any major drug store at less than $10.

3. e.l.f. Studio Lip Exfoliator

This was one of the first things I purchased from e.l.f and I think it's brilliant. Made from a "sweet sugar and smoothing sensation, infused with Vitamin E, Shea Butter, Avocado, Grape and Jojoba Oils to nourish and protect" your lips by removing dry and chapped skin. It feels great when I use it and makes my mouth feel that much better after enough exposure to the cold air in Canada.

It's also a wonderfully affordable $3 via their website, or I assume any place that carries e.l.f. cosmetics.

 It also goes well with this next step.

4. Sally Hansen Overnight Lip Recovery

This was actually something I found at my local Dollarama (for $2), but I assume this can be found at any drug store as well.

It's a little bit heavier and harder-core than a regular chap stick, which I guess is something that can also be used in place of something this specialized, but with how the weather has been going and how much I hate chapped lips, I made this a part of the routine.

It works like a gloss actually, and feels like a gloss, but it is a little more 'jelly' than gloss too, if you know what I mean.

5. UNT C*Clarity Ascorbic Brightening Serum

Now this is probably the most specialized of my routine as this was purchased specially for the fact that according to the UNT website when I bought it, it was made to be applied at night. It also closed a significant gap in my fight against dark spots.

This serum contains 20% L-ascorbic Acid, which is the maximum that your skin can absorb at once, to supply your skin with a large amount of highly concentrated vitamin-C which in its purest form, helps brighten your skin and smooths the complexion. It's a bit on the pricey side, coming in at around $25 CDN but for what I'm working towards I'm willing to swallow the price.

As for the link, it's Amazon, because for some reason, it's no longer available through the main UNT website from which I originally purchased it. Huh.

Now I can't tell you how well it works, but it is a runny and oily product. And from time-to-time it can feel a little too harsh for my skin. Which is why I incorporated the next step in my routine.

6. Neutrogena Light Night Cream

Despite my recent issues with dry, itchy skin, one thing I can be glad for is that my face has remained relatively safe of the same consequences. It is neither overly dry nor is it overly oily in its most natural state.

Which is why I chose a relatively light night cream to deal with my face when it does need some TLC, and even then it feels like too much or too heavy for my skin, which is why I sometimes restrict its use to my cheeks, which is at the greatest risk of drying out.

At around $10 from any local drug store, it is my chosen brand until I run out of it for now in any case.